New Webcam :)

Cognitive psychology and statistics - oh my! What a combination of classes. Whew. Well, we are at six weeks. Two more to go. Gosh, this session has gone fast.

Doing the Right Thing

"You can't get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first." (Lewis, 1942, p. 280)

I’ve recently learned a valuable lesson. After finishing the summer research project at UGA, I applied for two jobs. Then, my classes resumed at Regent.

One was a second shift, full-time position where I could study during the slow times. It didn’t pay much but had benefits. The other one would be a part-time guaranteed one day a week substitute job with occasionally more days, no benefits, but much better pay. In fact, one day a week there would almost equal the entire week's pay at the other job.

The part-time company offered me the position. It sounded great and I accepted. I looked forward to not being away from my family full-time at night. I accepted the position via phone to the corporate office. Then, I called the full-time company to let them know I had taken something else. The manager of the full-time company called me back later in the day and said that they had planned to offer me that job too and wouldn’t I reconsider.

I agreed to reconsider but with no promises. So, I prayed and prayed, talked to people, and decided that it might be best to take the full-time job after all because it would guarantee that my school work would not get behind and we would have health benefits. I didn’t like the idea of the hours though. My decision was to drive to the part-time company and tell them I had changed my mind. Then, I would drop in at the full-time company and let them know that I WOULD accept their offer.

As I drove, I rehearsed how to tell them that I had changed my mind. When I arrived there, the first words out of my new part-time boss-to-be mouth were “You’re not here to tell me you don’t want the position are you?” Then, she rushed me in. There was no time to respond. She was excitedly talking away. I was greeted sooooo warm and friendly that I found myself doubting my decision. It all seemed so good. I found myself thinking: “Does God really want me to be away from my family every night?” Needless to say, I never brought myself to say that I WAS there to tell her I didn’t want it. Even after learning that they really wanted me to work FULL-TIME for SIX WEEKS until the regular employee came back from leave. THEN it would be one day a week. I left their office with my decision totally reversed thinking that was what the Lord wanted me to do and making plans to juggle all those extra hours with my school work.

Long story short, the position wasn’t anything like it had been explained in the interview or training. And my new boss – knowing the discrepancies between the training and actual job – continued to be fearful that I was going to leave. She, in fact, usually asked me each day if I was going to quit to the point of irritation. The warm environment portrayed on that first day turned out to be just a cover for an extremely bad work environment. However, I was bent on thinking this was where the Lord wanted me to be.

After three weeks, however, I resigned after encountering a conflict there that I KNEW the Lord would not want me to participate in.

In retrospect, I could blame the company for not being honest in the interview or during the training, but the bottom line is that I didn’t follow through on doing what I had prayed about. I was initially headed down there to decline their offer, but started doubting my own discernment and didn’t follow through with my initial plan. Was there a purpose for me being there? Was it actually supposed to be like it turned out. Yes. Everything has a purpose. But why - I will probably never know.

Trusting God I did. Trusting myself I didn't do. There is such a fine balance sometimes. I would love to hear how others struggle with this balance!! I can say, however, alot was learned about myself and others in this experience. A lady from my church said that maybe the Lord didn’t want me at either job. That could be true, I suppose. And I certainly needed to recognize how easily I can doubt myself after prayer and discernment. And it reminded me of how much I have to be grateful for.

Anyway, that’s where I’ve been all this time. Today it is wonderful to just, once again, to be back at Regent.

Tammy